Have you ever hurt so much that you don't know how to feel pain anymore? That's how I feel all the time. If you stabbed my heart, I'd feel nothing. If you burned my skin, I'd feel nothing. If you ran over my body, I'd feel nothing.
Empty is how I feel.
I must be the fakest person I know. That smile on my face everyday is the last piece of the old me that I have. I wish I could walk around without my emotions. So I wouldn't have to feel anything. I fake my smiles, I fake my happiness, and I fake my emotions. I think my problem is that I care too much. About other people. I need to leave them the hell alone and start caring about me. I need to save myself from this depression. I'm tired of being so good. I just want to be free. I just want to give up. I don't see why people want to live on earth. I want to live where I have no problems. I want to feel nothing. That's the best feeling out there. And the sad part is that I feel this way because of you. You pushed me into this deep dark hole. I gave you a chance to be in my life and you screwed it up.
Forgiveness is easy. Forgetting is impossible.
I could never not remember how you took your chance for granted. You made me into this person. This devil with the feeling of nothingness. At first, I was hurt. I felt betrayed, lied to, and abandoned. But soon after, I felt blank. Nothing but blank. No words for the world who didn't even deserve to hear what I had to say. No signal to show everyone who was asking, that I was okay. No need to be the person I use to be. I guess now looking back, that person wasn't me. Now I'm someone I'm not and will never be.
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